My SQWires Experience...Or Should I Say Fiasco?

In hopes of avoiding The Net, my next idea was to find a great restauraunt to host the party. I looked around and found Sqwires, a lofty place known for its brunch. I already decided on a day wedding so I could serve brunch afterward. After lots of phone tag, I was able to meet up with her.

She was nice enough in person. I asked her to send me an estimate of what we discussed: a four hour wedding for 120 guests, and a champagne brunch. She never called or emailed me again after we met. This is not the first time this has happened to me.  I am hoping that my skin was not too tan for their establishment if you get my drift. But alas, this was not the venue of my dreams anyway.  I want to have my reception in a place that will be honored to host my interracial wedding. Do you feel me?

I charge it to the game, and not Karen the Event Coordinator.

I Have a Groomzilla.

Growing up, I was pretty tomboyish.  That has changed, but as a child I used to quote this movie called "Polly" starring Keisha Knight-Pulliam and Phylicia Rashad.  In the movie, Polly says, "I can run faster and spit farther than any boy ever born."  That sounded really good at the time.

One of the reasons I love my fiancee so much is that he is not like most guys. He truly has an artistic soul.  He can't talk to you about sports at all, except for if he watches a Mizzou game here or there (for those of you who aren't from the Midwest, Mizzou is a nickname for the University of Missouri-Columbia).  He is very neat.  He likes to lift weights, paint, watch foreign films, go to restaurants.  He is an amazing listener, unlike most guys.  He will remember every detail of a conversation with you better than you can.  Don't even think about trying the old "I didn't say that."  He will play the dialogue back for you verbatim.

I had to say some good things before I go OFF on how crazy he has made me over these wedding venues.  Most guys think of weddings as the "bride's day" and don't really have a lot of demands.  Of course, not my guy.  Here is a short list (not at ALL exhaustive) of things he has vetoed:

1) Destination Weddings
2) A reasonably sized guest list
3) Soul food at the reception
4) An estate wedding
5) Aluminum foil (he thinks it's hood)

The things I love so much about him are proving to be pretty disheartening, to say the least. The few things I did dream of include having a DIY estate wedding.  I thought I could trick him into having a destination wedding by suggesting the Lake of The Ozarks.  My thought was I would rent a mansion and our whole wedding party could stay with us.  We'd have an outdoor wedding and a casual reception with an indefinite end time.  Sounds fantastic to me.  Not to him.  A short list of complaints:

1) The Lake of the Ozarks is actually a destination (duh)
2) People cannot fly there.
3) It is 2 1/2 hours from Saint Louis.
4) Everyone may not want to stay with us
5) Everyone doesn't like the Lake of the Ozarks.

Check out this GORGEOUS spot we visted while up there.  Behold, the Old Kinderhook Castle:

On the way up there, he decided against the whole idea.  We shopped around in the Outlet Mall and came back home after one hell of a verbal joust.  Back to the drawing board.  I'm bound to Saint Louis.  I tried to get away.  So much for that. 

Can I have a nice wedding without selling my unborn children??!?

I am on a hunt. This hunt is to de-commercialize my wedding as much as possible by doing as much as I possibly can without what I call The Vendors. I will explain that part later. I hate what weddings have become. A flashy status symbol that is no longer about the sharing of vows and making a covenant with your loved one in front of your friends, family, and God of choice (mine is Jesus).  With that said, I am still me.  I'm a self proclaimed fashionista. I like glitz. And glam. And bling. A diamond cannot be my best friend because it would hurt the feelings of the rest of my precious stones.

I live in Saint Louis.  For a city with so much history, a strong connection to the expansion of colonialism, and ties to the likes of Harry Truman and the Louisiana Purchase, our wedding landscape sux arse.  There are very few venues that allow you to choose your own vendors. Everyone wants to give me these factory choices.  I call them The Vendors.  These are the few caterers in this city that clearly have friends in high places.    

They have a net over every formidable wedding venue it seems.  They all want 50 dollars a person plus tax and 22% gratuity.  Ha! I'm not about that life.  That is my entire honeymoon budget plus some.  No madam.

The hunt is on.  I am determined to have the fabulous wedding my huzzie to be and I dream about without spending our down payment on our first home.  The budget is a firm 12 stacks.  Firm.  I WILL figure out how to evade the net The Vendors have cast over STL.  I will find small/indie businesses to do as much as possible.  There are people that need to make a living who are not in The Vendors club.  Indie wedding biz folks, I am on the hunt for you.